Today I got my lungs x-rayed out to make sure I didn't have me any of that pneumonia - and thankfully I don't! The plague has been present in our room since about Friday. A wonderful thing about shared living is that naturally everyone gets what everyone else has, which may I say again is thankfully not pneumonia!
I believe it is time to update the internet on a most wonderful heist that went down a couple of weeks ago involving one tenth doctor, and one excellent plan.
That's right...we stole the doctor.
Some residents across the river known by C&M have this lovely cardboard cut out that gets stolen may times by other residents in their complex as a sort of wonderful joke. Recently, it was stolen by residents of our humble building, and ended up all the way across campus (conveniently on the floor below us...)
Now the proud thieves made the single mistake of showing us said cardboard cutout and bragging about their thief, which naturally sounded like a challenge to me. So the quest began.
Our mission was simple: Lure them up to C&M's room with the promise (truthful!) of baked goods. While they are out, strike team will make a dash downstairs, enter the room, steal the Tennant, and secure him in J&H's room.
As the night approached, tensions and expectations ran high - everyone wanted this heist to be successful. Afterall, if we could pull it off, we could not only say that we thieved the doctor, but that we thieved him from thieves! Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. I wildly threw myself at the peekhole, to see one the the thieves standing there.
ONE?! One was good, but our plan depended on both being absent from the room.
Quickly, H and I scurried over to our room while Thief 1 was admitted into C&M's room. Listening through the door in the dark, we contemplated rushing into the thieves room and stealing Tennant, even though Thief 2 was still in the room. At last we decided that would ruin our plan, and decided to wait...for the opportune moment...
That moment arrived, when Thief 1 got a text from Thief 2 saying something to the extent that he was joining us in C&M's room. My heart rate spiked - was this in fact the opportune moment?
Hannah and I made our exits, and quickly convened to decide that only one of us should go to avoid suspicion. So Hannah went back into C&M's room, while I waited in the darkness, ready to strike. When I knew Thief 2 was safely inside of C&M's room, I reaching out for the door handle. As quietly as I could, I exited the room, and crept for the stairwell.
In the stairwell, my quest turned into a mad dash! I raced down one flight, out the door, and ran straight into the Thieve's room.
There he was.
The lonely angle. The last of the time lords. THE DOCTOR.
He stood there, starring at me with that look of someone who had seen so much that graces his face too often in The End of Time.
But this was no time for reminiscing - they could walk back in at any moment!
So without another though, I grabbed Tennant, and dashed back up the stairwell. Once safe inside my room again, I knew I had to hide Tennant somewhere for the time being since our room is connected to C&M's. But where do you hide a life-size cardboard cutout?
The closet door was too small. The middle of the room wouldn't do. The only other option was the bed. With the speed of a fiery chariot I vaulted Tennant onto my lofted bed and quickly covered him with blankets.
THE CARGO WAS SECURE.
I suddenly realized that I hadn't left any sort of ransom - a grave error! Without a second thought I scrawled a note on a piece of scratch paper, dashed back downstairs and placed our demands where Tennant formerly stood. Then it was back upstairs once more!
I changed into my pajamas, made tea (for an innocent i-havn't-just-stolen-your-Tennant-sort-of-look) and sauntered back into C&M's room to enjoy watching strange music videos with the roomies and the Thieves - not to mention giving meaningful eyebeams all around so that the other heist-ers knew of my success. It was quite wonderful.
On that Sunday eve, we were ready to collect our random. Through much peer pressure and pleading I was able to convince C&M to wear mustaches on sticks while accompanying me to gather the ransom. M also brought a plastic gun that pathetically shot out colored balls now and then...
I'm pretty sure we made the man in the stairways night - he seemed a bit confused, but also very amused when he saw 3 folk with mustaches on sticks holding a plastic ball gun to the head of a cardboard cutout of the doctor!
Thief 1 arrived to give hand over the ransom, and we reluctantly parted with our stolen gem in exchange for the haikus.
Maybe if you are good internet viewers I will share them with you someday.
So there you have it!
The wonderful Tennant heist and the absence of pneumonia!
Happy weekend, and don't anyone die from the plague please.
mother of gOD JONI
ReplyDeletei can't actually breathe right now and i'm impressed i can type so well because i can tell you i am about to wet my trousers
from laughing
so
hardddddd
HLAIKUUUS????????
AMABO TE
also can i just say...the lonely angle might be my most favoritest typo.
Oh shut up now I didn't proof-read it alright!
Deleteheh heh...what degree do you think the loneliest angle is? 17 degrees? 1 degree? 226 degrees?